Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
