I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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