you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
