i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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