D3 body, D1 cock
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
