There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
