It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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