then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
