So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
