You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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