So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
