he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
