worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well you can't waste a boner
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
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I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I am mentally ready for anal.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize