Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
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