At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
