For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
