the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
