Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
