There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize