$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
