I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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