How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
