pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
