Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
