If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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