I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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