'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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