Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Dear god my vagina.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
