I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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