just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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