I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
