The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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