when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
