There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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