All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
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So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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