I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
