In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
