When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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