At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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