no you cant smoke seaweed
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
