Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
