the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
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I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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