using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
