What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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