Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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