My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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