His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
