The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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