He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
