I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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