No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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