oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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