apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
