New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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