ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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