That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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