...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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