Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
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